A crying kiss

         

Before you start reading this story i need to tell you guys that it is in no way related to my life or anything like that.. I wrote this story back in 2014 i guess..i just happened to find it in my journal so posted. I have not yet written anything fresh as there is a lot happening in my life at the moment. I hope you enjoy reading this post. Take care ❤

     I search the dusty shelves of my house frantically. There wasn't much time left. I need to hurry. I find a picture peeking through a book. A group picture, "First day of high school. I was walking down the street. He was sitting on the bus stop with his friends. I glared at him. Sunrays shine upon him as he squinted his eyes and looked at me". My eyes filled with tears as I reminiscence him with his shiny brown locks of hair falling on his forehead. I regain my conscious and start frantically searching again. 

"First day of high school. We get on the bus. I sit 2 seats behind him in the other row where I could get a clear look at him. He was always the one smiling and laughing with his friends. He had a lot of guy friends. He was always fooling around with them".

I found it. I found the letter i was searching so frantically. My throat is dry. My heart is pounding. Should I really do this? Now? Or maybe I should burn this letter and no one will ever know. Once again I take a look at the picture I found. My eyes fill with tears. I close my eyes tight as I remember...

"Freshers party around the corner. Everyone looking so excited. Maybe I should ask him out to be my date. Oh, look! there he is on the bus stop with his friends as always smiling, laughing having a good day.

I sit on the bed sobbing..with the letter in one hand and the picture in other. Maybe I should've told him this before. Maybe now is too late. Things have changed soo drastically. I wish I could change his fate. I again dig into the memories in my head and I remember...

I was walking down the street to the bus stop as he was sitting there with his friends. Smiling, laughing, having a good day. The bus arrived and we hopped into it.

I sat two seats behind him on the other row so I could look at him.

He turned around for the first time. He looked at me and smiled. My eyes widen and heart throbbed. He smiled and looked away. Again laughing with his friends and the bus started as I giggled to myself.

We met in primary school and now we were in high school. I have known him for soo long but never had the courage to talk. I never believed for this to be anything more than staring and giggling. It was freshers party. A hall full of chaos. Everyone was dancing. The music was playing loud. Everyone looking pretty. Everyone coupled up and there I saw him sitting on the stairs by himself. I thought to myself, how could such a pretty boy be left alone like this? Should I go and talk? Or maybe not. 

Oh God! I think he saw me. He smiled, but this wasn't the usual smile. His smile faded quickly. I didn't even think for a second and just rushed to him. I reached by his side but couldn't utter a word. I just sat there beside him. That evening went by doing nothing but in each others presence, we just sat there not uttering a single word. Soon it was midnight. We both got up and started walking. We walked by each other. The street was silent and cold. The moonlight fell on him like he was the angel from above. It shined on his blue blazer and brown hair. His eyes squinted as the cold breeze ran through his cheeks, his smile was unusual, the spark in it lost and I couldn't stop staring at him. When all of a sudden a tear ran down his cheek. He turned and looked at me. We stare for about a minute into each other's eyes. Does he want to say anything? I asked myself. This was the first time I saw something more than the sparkle in his eyes. I wanted to tell him soo many things but words didn't come out of my mouth. He looked away and then he quickly paced away from me towards his house. My words blocked in my mouth. I felt an eerie cold and silence which I didn't like. Suddenly it felt so empty like the silence before the storm. My stomach churned and heart throbbed fast. I wanted to call and scream his name. But he was gone in the dark night and I couldn't see him anymore. So I thought to myself. Tomorrow when I meet him, when I see him, I will walk straight to him and ask him what's wrong. I will tell him how I feel, I will be by his side no matter what. So I get to my house. I sleep but not before staying awake for a while, thinking to myself, what may have to be the matter with a guy whom everyone loved and adored.

As I try to recall my heart overwhelmed. Cursing myself. I should've known. I should've asked, I should've talked. 

Suddenly I realise I have been strolling for too long. I keep the group picture I found back into the book, I take the letter and I rush to my main door and out into the street, I run as fast as I can. I see a taxi. I hop into it and rush to the hospital. I see his mom sitting on a chair. Crying, worried, his friends waiting, brisk walking in the corridor.

I rush to them and ask the progress. The doctors have not yet said anything says one of the friends. 

Finally, the doctors come out of the room and the words we hear, we cannot believe, "Fatal. May only survive for an hour or two or maybe even less".

Our legs shake as we reluctantly grasp the reality. His mom falls on her knees shaking, crying, begging, wishing if only this wasn't the reality. His friends rush inside trying to wake him up, asking him to stay. And I stood there numb. My heart pounding my ears go numb. I hold the wall I take a peep inside the room. Shaken by his fate, his friends scatter and sit all around the room, crying, wishing for things to be different. I slowly walk inside the room in disbelief. I go beside his bed and sit on the chair. Oxygen mask on his mouth. And his head wrapped in a bandaid. Circular blood spot to the left of his forehead. That is where he tried to shoot himself. All the feelings I had for him, I vent out to him. I show the letter i wrote to him when I was 13, though he couldn't see the letter. I just wanted him to know it would've been better if he didn't try to kill himself. I would've been there. If only I knew. I vent it all out. I cry, I sob.. He slowly opens his eyes. And I look at him. I lean closer to him. My cheeks wet and my eyes teary. I could see his tears too. I lean and leave a kiss as I cry louder than I did before. His voice cracking, he slowly slides his oxygen mask to the side of his mouth, and whispers, " I knew, but I'm sorry". His breathing slowly fades, eyes slowly close. And I whisper. If only you knew before.

Not by her own choice

 She was very excited today after-all the schools were re-opening after a long summer break.The streets seem pretty empty most of the days during vacation as everyone is gone somewhere or the other. The number of children in the park decreased. So did the number of vehicles on the street. She always preferred the crowded park and the busy streets, with a lot of children/people hustling and cars honking. The silence seemed haunting and lonely. 

There wasn't much to do for her during the vacations. Her mother passed away a few months back and, she had never seen her father since she was 2 years old. Her step-father didnt bother to look after her or his own child i.e., her little brother. He moved on and left them alone. Her little brother was too young to play with, and the kids she saw in the park, they would never play with her. She found the vacations the laziest and the slowest going. she kept herself busy by doing the household chores and looking after her little brother. 

She would often buy Food on a regular basis and save some as well in the house for later. The little food saved was about to finish, so to save and make that food last longer she would sleep empty stomach sometimes. A lot of nights would go by empty stomach gazing at the night sky, but she made sure her little brother, the only family she was left with, would never have to face starvation. 

The long Summer vacation was finally over and she couldn't be any happier. The parks would soon be full of children and the schools and the streets would be crowded again. Now, once again, she can start selling stationery, snacks and whatever she has to sell for that day, at the traffic signal, near the park, and near the school to well feed the only family she was left with. 

Our Little Buddies

It must have been midnight. I'm not sure because i could hardly see anything. I heard my mom cry, for me and my siblings. I felt a warm touch but soon it was gone. The surface felt rough and dry. Me and my sibling's nails screech over the rough surface. My mom's cry slowly fainted. Soon it felt as if we were floating in the air. We started to feel real cold. We cuddled eachother for the warmth and called as loudly as we could for our mother. But it seemed as if our mother couldn't hear us anymore. Then the cold increased and some rotten smell too. I remembered us calling our mother before, she would rush to us and feed us, then we would sleep in her warmth. I was sure we were far apart from our mother as she wasn't coming to feed us. 

A day went by screaming, crying for help, crying for our mother, i was hungry so were my siblings. I could hardly walk by the 2nd day. My body was tired, cold and hungry. Some of my little siblings even had some scars on their legs with all the scratching on this rough and dry surface. All we wanted was food, warmth and to feel loved.

By the 2nd night i heared a loud noise. We were tired and sleeping in pain. But the loud noise woke us up and we were again reminded of the starvation and cold. We cried as loud as we could hoping someone would help. The noise was very different from what i have heard before. It didn't feel like someone was talking but rather inhuman. All of a sudden it was day, then again it was night, then again it was day, and then again it was night. I couldn't understand the phenomenon but we just wanted to get out of here so we kept crying for help. 

Soon 2 giant people came in a certain costume i suppose. And again it was day. These humans had suns in their hands. And the light of the sun felt on us as some blessings may have showered. We were scared but it felt a little warm and i thought to myself, what worse can happen!? I kept crying as loud as i can and so did my siblings. 

Those two men picked up the paper box we were in. It was rough and dirty from the garbage we were put in. I kept crying till i came to this place, where it was bright and warm and we were fed. Then i fell asleep and i couldn't even realise when.

Next day i wokeup to a bright room. A little bit like the previous one we were in with mother. But this one felt like home and smelled better. I opened my eyes and found my siblings still sleeping. I stood up and the ground felt the softest i have ever touched. I peeked through the barrier, the barrier was soft too unlike the one we were in, before. I smelled something really delicious and i jumped and fell. Yet i rushed to find several little bowls. Then i realised i could hear something when i moved and i felt something in my neck. The jingle sounded sweet and i had a red collar around my neck. I rushed back to wake my siblings up. And found there were similar collars around their necks too. Then i looked back at the bowls and they matched our collars. I went running back to the bowl matching my collar. The collar in my neck jingled sweet melody and the food in the bowl smelled delicious. I gulped all the food down as fast as i could. And when i was done i read on my bowl. "Buddy". 

Soon the giant human who saved us came with a little human of his own. That little human smelled soo good. She wore pink frock and socks. I jumped all over them and I licked them. I barked. My other siblings woke up. I ran towards them. I told them about the bowls. They rushed and finished the food in seconds and then we all jumped over our tiny human and played with her and stayed with her. I just hope i dont have to visit that cold place again. I love the warmth and smell of my new home. And i hope we stay here ,always.