Have you ever felt too lost in thoughts yet blank!? Like there is soo much going on in your mind yet there isn't much to.. I don't know how to explain this.. such heavy emptiness.. you don't know what you are supposed to feel yet you are feeling something, something with soo much force, soo much intensity yet you have no idea what that feeling is exactly.. like you want to climb on the top of the mountain with clouds at your feet and scream out loud yet quietly sit at the beach with the waves of the sea brushing at your feet .. I don't know how to explain this feeling. ugh! A contradictory Mind! Yeah that's what BPD does to you.. Nevermind!
why am I venting out here? Because unlike Instagram and Facebook where everyone is watching me. My blog, being here.. gives me some kind of serenity #socks Yes I hashtagged socks.. because... the spelling of socks i.e. S O C K S... When you say it out loud and slow(speed doesn't matter said it for the aesthetic).. in Spanish it means it is what it is - Eso si que es!
By the way, I came here to post my poem as I promised in my earlier blog post.. but I'm not sure which poem to post. I'm anxious about how one would interpret them. I'm conscious about my writing. Oh! I love how I just casually tell my insecurities to the world. No! I don't actually. But it's really strange how my brain works.. wait! What was I here for again!? Oh! Poem! Yes yes...
Please read this poem(or whatever it is) below (I feel it's so bad that I'm afraid to even call it a poem - Nevermind I'm fabulous!!) Do convey your honest thoughts in the comments down below. It would mean a lot to me. Thank you.
#2 Sleepless nights
I carry a storm within that comprises all my thoughts, anxieties, and miseries
In the vessel that is my heart, strives an ocean of depression
I'm devoured by this battle between my heart and mind
Between what I know and how I feel
Between this world outside and within
My heart races with every bone of mine quivering
Every breath feels like inhaling acid that burns me from the inside
My eyelids droop with heavy sleep, but if only I could sleep tonight.
Do comment and let me know your thoughts. Thank you. Take care!
