Love - not an experiment

She is dreaming again. Dreaming of her life with that person she recently fell in love with.

when suddenly she finds her cheeks wet. She starts grieving over something, something that didn't go well... She looks into the darkness, mesmerizing everything that happened. She remembers every single detail.

It was 2nd of February, sitting on her bed. She was texting Sahir, a guy she met online. Internet was new to her and she was loving it. That was the only way she felt relieved from her vain life.

And not everyone on the internet is fake. Somewhere in her heart, she knew Sahir was true. The only friend she made in these past few years. He had a tragic story. He was overcoming a tragedy which happened in his life recently. He was rude when they first talked. He criticized the brief intro she wrote. But she was calm, which was unusual. She was always a short-tempered girl. There was something about him which even she wasn't aware of but she just couldn't get angry with him. She calmed him. With every rude word he used, she politely blossomed her positiveness upon him. He has had enough. He was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by the sweet nature he saw of the girl.

He now, who once criticized, wanted to be her friend. They added each other on their friend's list. He was her 3rd person to be adding and she was his first. They started chatting every day. From the first ray of sunshine to the mid of the night. They finally found someone, with whom they again learned to smile.

Suddenly,

A light blinked, she looked behind to see her mom switch on the light. She rapidly gained her conscious. She knew she was reminiscing again.

Getting the grip of her senses, she walked towards the bathroom, vigorously splashed water on her face, rubbed her eyes, tried to tame herself.

That evening went dull. With all his thoughts on her mind. As if she had a premonition of something she didn't want to happen. Her phone had a notification. She knew it was him.

She picked her phone and reluctantly tried to read his message. Tears filled her eyes, she couldn't see a single word. She closed her eyes tight. All she could do was remember his msgs sent earlier.

"Gudiya, have a lovely day. Take great care. Love you lots. Miss you. Hope to see you soon".

She remembered herself blushing, she remembered her giggles after reading his messages. She knew she was madly in love. She knew he was too. He was the only one, who made her feel so worth, that criticisms of the world didn't anymore bother her.

"will you hug me if someday in the future I wake up at midnight and made you wake up too," she asked, "of course", he said "would check if you have caught a fever, hug you tight and sleep again", he added.

"would you ever feed me with your hands when I may not be in the mood to eat"

She once asked.

"why not my Gudiya, I will get on my knees, kiss your cheek and thn feed you myself". He replied.

"Do you like chaat? I love paani puri the most. What do you prefer Shona?" she asked.

"I love all chats". He said, and I wanna see your face when you stuff paani puri in your mouth, I'm sure you would look the cutest in the world," he added.

Sahir wasn't the one who talked silly.

But for her, he would reply to the silliest questions she would ever ask him.

She was a child from her heart. She was innocent. He knew it all. He showered on her every bit of love he could. He pampered. He cared.

He was allergic to sour taste yet he said he wouldn't leave a chance to kiss her when she asked him if he would kiss her while she was eating tamarind.

Remembering his messages made her giggle. The Tears on her cheeks almost dried up.

She opened her eyes to feel a little headache. She wanted so badly to read that message but was scared.

She took some painkillers n sat weeping again.

She felt a fear rushing. It felt like deja vu. She remembered that she has had felt this way before.

She remembered asking him if their relationship's gonna work out?

On which he said, "work out or not, these kinds of talk suits on an experiment. We are meant to be together. We will try our best.

Suddenly she stopped weeping. She had a smile on her face. It wasn't a peaceful smile but rather an accepting the fact smile. She knew all he said was now gonna be all in vain. Coz the fear she had, she could see it turning into reality.

She gained courage. Picked her phone and finally read the message.

Yes, Sahir was leaving her. He said his final goodbyes through that message. he gave the reason of caste difference as he was Muslim and she was Hindu. But that is not what bothered her. She had something else on her mind. She remembered him texting her "we will try our best". But they didn't even try the least. She was disappointed. She was broken. She loved him dearly. But he was helpless. He talked to her one last time that night. He told her she was worth and she could get whatever she wants. He told her she is beautiful. He told her she is gonna be a beautiful successful lady one day. But all she could hear was, Goodbye, we are gonna drift away.

She was shattered yet was smiling.

She had an experience of her life.

She was mature now. She experienced, she knew life is not a fairy tale. Things happen. Things change. She didn't even have a pic of his. She just saw him once. But whenever she closed her eyes she remembered every detail. His perfectly chiselled face. His groovy eyes and the hair that fell on his forehead. All she could do was try to move on with her life. She took her phone saw the msg one last time. Wrote thank you take care hope you have a good life and deleted the whole chat in a matter of seconds, the chat was gone but she couldn't erase his number from her phone or her mind. She burned a cigrt, took a deep breath. Lights faded and the sun set as she waited for the new sun rise.